Description:
Taipan Daily: Recipe for a Banana Republic
by Justice Litle, Editorial Director, Taipan Publishing Group
"Banana republic" is a pejorative term for a country that is politically unstable, dependent on limited agriculture (e.g. bananas), and ruled by a small, self-elected, wealthy, and corrupt clique.
- Wikipedia
Mmm, banana republic. Just the sound of it makes your mouth water, doesn't it? No, wait. That's banana cream pie. Oops. But hey - if there are any tinpot dictators reading this, they have to be getting hungry for dessert right about now.
If you ever feel like whipping up your own batch of tasty mayhem, here's how:
Recipe for a Banana Republic
Ingredients:
• out-of-control printing presses
• currency restrictions and controls
• strangling regulation and red tape
• aggressive nationalization of private
assets
• extravagant social programs (bribing the poor)
• deeply corrupt financial structures (bribing the connected)
• crushing pressures on small business (extorting the middle class)
Directions
1. Combine fervent promises of "hope," "change" and "revolution" in demagogue crockpot. Bring mixture to a slow rolling boil.
2. As mixture firms, stir in aggressive spending plans and "revolutionary" public adjustments. Sprinkle liberally with insider connections and oligarchic financial loopholes to maintain smooth consistency. Let simmer for a full election cycle on low-heat propaganda flame.
3. Pour filling into flaky self-righteous crust. Top with blatant corruption, repressed scandal and outright nationalization. Bake in fiscal suicide oven until inflation thermometer registers 30%+ and insider cronies are sufficiently enriched.*
*As with a delicate souffle, the middle class must not experience complete collapse during this phase. If this happens, you have inadvertently followed the recipe for a coup.
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